Getting this nagging little Dragon's Den idea of combining the little brolly in push button mode with that automatic rain-sensing windscreen wiper technology and incorporating it into some hipster headwear. The trendy flat cap maybe, or the Boy George wonky fedora.
A dot of rain, spokes come out, foot-wide brolly in a James Bond gadget stylee.

Theo and Peter would pooh-pooh it with the quickness. Bannatyne would be 'ooot' of course.
Hilary would take it.

I'd like Hilary to take it. Oh yes indeed.

I fancy that. In fact I double fancy that.

::blap::

Well that was one hell of an ending to the season. One of the best I've seen in my years. Congrats to City.

On a side note. Is Barton the most disliked individual in the kingdom this evening?

In this delightful clip, there are two deathless moments (apart from the obvious one) which deserve a little more attention;

1) The brief but exquisite expression of bewilderment all over the coupon of that turncoat Judas bastard Michael Owen (he's dead to me) as he's hit by the realisation that he won't, after all, be picking up a Premiership Winners medal for sitting on Yanited's bench all season.

2) The sight of an obviously delighted (former Liverpool striker) Djibril Cisse giving Samir Nasri a big hug. It might have been a combination of joy at QPR staying up and joy for the success of a fellow Frenchman. But I like to think there was another reason he was happy that City won.

I could have watched a video of ManU fans reactions all night.

FERGIE TIME! DELICIOUS!
Best final day of the season in the Prem era? Great drama.

Was so glum with minutes to go, I still can't quite believe it. But the bottlers seem to have been replaced with believers. It just takes longer for the fans to realise it because they've been watching City be shit, expecting City to be shit and Knowing City will be shit, for a lot longer than any of the current squad have ever witnessed.

You have to understand that following City has meant, for so much of the past, that dreams of anything good are always renedered nightmares by cruel twists of fate or stupid implosions - snatching defeat from the jaws of victory. And today seemed like the biggest, most awful choke of all-time. It's par for the course for City, surely....

Yet here we are. This is the kind of outcome that Un*ted are supposed to have. Is someone having a f*cking bubble? Did someone just f*ck with The Matrix? Because I like it!

More beer!

Hush now kids, MOTD is just about to start

this season couldn't end fast enough....Arsenal doing their best to try and give me a heart attack. Hate that na$ri won a medal, but glad to see some more teams in the mix. City fans kinda deserve it, and better them than a crappy Utd team.

silly season started like 10 hrs ago....thankful Euros will distract some of this.

never changed my fantasy team after August (the 8-2 probably having something to do with that) and not surprisingly I came in dead last.

another fun season lads.....lets do it again next year.

And please to god let FFP actually have some teeth.

jlee - 13 May 2012 06:55 PM

And please to god let FFP actually have some teeth.

Why?

Man win a lottery, who are toff and toff fi tell man how much man can spend, where man can live?

Don't want noisy neighbours?

I would say well played and all that but I really don't think City deserved it. Not as much as me retaining my Fantasy League title anyway.

Why have they not deserved it? They were the team who dished out the heaviest beatings (as reflected in the goal difference). UTD winning, having lost 6-1 and 1-0 to City, would've been much better candidates for 'underserving' champions. Citeh have played the best football this season.

Still warming to Barton Paul?

Jimster, everyone's happy for you and yours, and lord knows it is fantastic to see SAF get some of that schadenfreude karma payback thing, in such a raw and visible way.

But take a step back, people are sick of the game (and it should remain a game at heart, not a business or an entertainment) being thrown around and skewed beyond nature by a bunch of egomaniac and testosterone overloaded overlords.

I'm afraid you must deal.

And Barton remains less despised than Owen, I believe.

Heaviest beatings? 8-2 remember?!

And no, fuck Barton. Although his twitter rant on Shearer was pretty good.

magpaul - 14 May 2012 05:10 AM

Heaviest beatings? 8-2 remember?!

The second loss to UTD was much harder to take really. Djourou at RB was a catastrophe, everyone could see it was a disaster waiting to happen, and then taking Oxo-Cube off for Arshavin was head-against-the-wall stuff.

Although his twitter rant on Shearer was pretty good.

Please to poast?

Joey Barton's tweets from yesterday.

Can do nothing but apologise to the players and the fans. Still don't think its a sending off. Tried to take 1 of their players with me....

Still not my proudest moment but who gives a f*ck, we are safe..........and that is all that matters.

The head was never gone at any stage, once I'd been sent off, one of our players suggested I should try to take 1 of theirs with me...

...Never worked but god loves a trier. #reallynotbother #wearesafe

Well done to Man City...

To all those nuggets who've been tweeting about relegation all season.......u were wrong. #chinup

To those same nuggets, the ones that constantly wrote us of all season. See u in the Premiership next season... #comeonur'sss

Think a few people are forgetting Tevez started the fracas by throwing a punch to the head...?

Right am off for a bit. Gonna enjoy QPR still being a Premiership club with all my team-mates. Cheerio people

Shearers still on my case..."I know I f*cked up Alan, thanks for stating the obvious."

Whilst were both stating the obvious about each other, can I just say for the record what a great player u were. Well better me...

But I have a better hair(which is not hard), wear well better shirts on TV and have a personality(something u lack).

I really don't like that prick, in fact I honestly despise him... Goodnight.

I'd take it off Hansen and @GaryLineker but not from that bell, same fella that stamped on Neil Lennon,then threatened FA if they banned him

...That he would retire from international football. No sorry, not having him, never have. Selfish, boring man him. He can do one...

My favourite memory of him though is when he dropped his spuds when Keano put it on him. Goodnight Al, sleep well matey...

With that my #shearerrant is over... Goodnight all xxxxxx

"Dropped his spuds" is funny, but the guy is a total cnut.

All personal bias aside, it's a sad indication of the game that people are offering this up as the greatest premier league season of all time.

Credit to Citeh for trying to make it more exciting through self destruction but a squad that's been Champ managered over a season and a half with bottomless funds winning the title by scraping a win against a ten man team fourth from bottom is hardly Roy of the Rovers material.

On performances over the season I can't argue that Citeh deserve the title but, from a romantic football viewpoint, I think a little bit more of my interest in the game just died.

It's sort of ironic that, after years of moaning about buying the title, Utd were actually the small fry punching above their weight this year.

On the plus side, nice to see all logic being broken with the three promoted teams staying up for a season.

Barton is a tool of the highest degree but I'm 100% with him on Shearer.

magpaul - 14 May 2012 04:58 AM

I really don't think City deserved it.

Fair dos. You are a proper red, I'll give you that. I would have agreed 100%, if we'd not won yesterday, that we did not deserve it - champs should be able to see of QPR with 10 men, even if they had resorted to siege tactics. We had some f*ck ups, Un*ted had some f*ck ups, but head to head you were done fair and square, IMHO. That Everton 4-4. C'MON SON-R.

As for buying the league, the FFP meant that the money had to be spent big and fast. Bobby has done a good job getting them to play together as they are all new faces to the club (apart from Micah Richards).
I still think City have a way to go before they are bullying Euroman but they are stronger. I can see Ste*e's point perfectly, it's no longer just a game. The Arabs aren't in it for fun, and if you want to make money off your "Project" you have to spend it.