Dusty Groove dustoff (crappy-record related)

[white_tea]

How about a little competition. Who can find the shittiest record talked up -- shamelessly -- by the Dusty Groove guys. I'll start with this gem. As the review states, it's "deeply catchy" ... !!! ... ! Black Eyed Peas "Elephunk"A&M/Interscope, 2003 Condition: New Copy View Cart A helluva unpretentious funky party album from the Black Eyed Peas! We won't lie to you, we were prepared to despise the new album, thanks to that hideous Dr. Pepper commercial -- but Elephunk is the kind of happy surprise we live for around here. There's just no denying how strong the hooks, how fat and funky the beats, and how deeply catchy just about every track is. The sung choruses cut right to the bone, and the production is all about crisp electric funk & soul -- enough to make us think that Will I Am is probably one big crossover hit away from a lucrative career as a producer. This is the kind of hip hop album Sly Stone would have made -- BYP wants EVERYONE to get down to this thing, all politics and hipster posturing aside. The groove is all inclusive -- whether you're into Jay Dee or Justin Timberlake, you're gonna find a reason to like this album![/b] Includes "Hands Up", "Labor Day (It's A Holiday)", "Let's Get Retarded", "Shut Up", "Smells Like Funk", "Latin Girls", "Sexy", "The Boogie That Be", "Where Is The Love", and more. Hey, uh, A&M -- where's the vinyl?!?

 

[ryan]

well, i saw this the other day, which is a little different. a forthright dustygroove review without a single exclamation mark.

Kid Rock -- U Don't Know Me (cali boy mix, cali boy, inst, funk mix, beyond the door mix) (pic cover) . . . 12-inch . . . $5.99 (Item: 39625)
Continuum/Top Dog, 1993 Condition: Very Good+ View Cart
From that middle period between his first wack LP and his later ascendency to white trash poster boy, also wack. (Cover has a small cutout hole.) (From the Hip Hop 12-inch (A-L) page.)

 

[white_tea]

well, i saw this the other day, which is a little different. a forthright dustygroove review without a single exclamation mark.

Kid Rock -- U Don't Know Me (cali boy mix, cali boy, inst, funk mix, beyond the door mix) (pic cover) . . . 12-inch . . . $5.99 (Item: 39625)
Continuum/Top Dog, 1993 Condition: Very Good+ View Cart
From that middle period between his first wack LP and his later ascendency to white trash poster boy, also wack. (Cover has a small cutout hole.) (From the Hip Hop 12-inch (A-L) page.)

Whoever wrote that review probably already got fired. He talks negatively about the artist. Worse, as you noted, he does not even come close to meeting the exclamation point quota, which, for a 12-inch review, is three. Even that, however, will earn you an lecture from the boss about using more "flair."

 

[ryan]

exactly. how is it possible not to like the cali boy mix?

 

[white_tea]

cali boy mix?

 

[dig_this]

I'm the first to admit I shop at DG and the people there are nice as can be (what else do you expect when you're payin those prices?)...but I'll play along....

...here's one that looks like it's going out the park.....no exclamation point in sight....going....going....

Bootsy's Rubber Band -- This Boot Is Made For Fonk-N . . . LP . . . $6.99 (Item: 3173)
Warner, 1979 Condition: Very Good+ View Cart
Not as all-out incredible as some of Bootsy's other work -- and it feels a bit like the band is going through the motions, on kind of a P-Funk treadmill -- but there's still plenty of great party funk on the record, and the set's recorded with a sound that almost sounds live! Titles include "Jam Fan (Hot)", "Bootsy Get Live", "Under The Influence Of A Groove", and "Shejam". (From the Soul/Funk LP (A-D) page.)


....aw damn, saved at the fence....ok, here's one:

Isaac Hayes -- Juicy Fruit (Disco Freak) . . . LP . . . $4.99 (Item: 34080)
ABC, 1976 (Gatefold) Condition: Sealed View Cart
Sure, this isn't one of Ike's classic Stax albums -- and sure, there are some weak disco-oriented material on here -- but at another level, the soul quotient's still pretty high, especially on the mellower numbers. Titles include "Let's Don't Ever Blow Our Thing", "Lady of The Night", "The Storm Is Over", and "Music To Make Love By". (Cover has a cut corner.) (From the Soul/Funk LP (E-I) page.)

I can't believe they didn't say "and there's a cool photo inside of ladies' ankles ringed with dropped panties inside. killer stuff!"


but my favorite game to play is "find an AYO!" at dusty groove....like, here's one right here:

akeside -- Fantastic Voyage/Can't Get You Out Of My Head . . . 12-inch . . . $8.99 (Item: 405717)
Solar, 1980 Condition: Very Good+ View Cart
Easily one of the greatest Lakeside tracks ever -- a keyboard-heavy bit of funk that really helped set the sound for the west coast scene at the time! There's a strong hook to the number that really makes it stand out from Lakeside's other work -- still rough on the main vocals, but supported by warmer choruses that help it glide along with the promise of the bottom! "Can't Get You Out Of My Head" is a mellower ballad. (From the Soul/Funk 12-inch singles page.)

 

[pkny]

Black Eyed Peas "Elephunk"

This is the kind of hip hop album Sly Stone would have made

 

[troubleman]

Black Eyed Peas "Elephunk"

This is the kind of hip hop album Sly Stone would have made

fuck that!!

 

[SoulOnIce]

This is the kind of hip hop album Sly Stone would have made to pay for drugs, in 1996

 

[pkny]

My turn:

Beastie Boys -- To The 5 Boroughs

Another strong set by the Beastie Boys -- who would obviously rather put out a very good album every five or six years, than a sub par album every year or two! Arguably, the Beasties broke all the of the ground that they ever will prior to 2004, but that doesn't mean that they're done making solid records. If To The 5 Boroughs is any indication, there's still quite a bit of life left in the Boys as they approach 40. Prior to each infrequent LP, we're worried that the post Paul's Boutique world of difficult, expensive sample clearance will kill the layers of pop pastiche sound bites that made P's B such a brilliant statement, and with this one we're once again very pleasantly surprised at what they're able to pull off. The soul and funk samples are still piled on in abundance (albeit with a more electro studio built backdrop), as are the block rockin' party rhymes, even if the tone's serious in spots. There are no attempts at funky jazz or punk rock this time -- this may be the Beasties' most classifiable hip hop album. Add it to that ever growing list of good-to-great albums by aging artists who were coaxed back into the game in part by their feelings about post 9/11 politics. Tracks include the great throwback single "Ch-Check It Out", "Right Right Now Now", "3 The Hard Way", "It Takes Time To Build", "Rhyme The Rhyme Well", "Hey F**k You", "Triple Trouble", "Oh Word?", "That's It That's All", "All Lifestyles", "Shazam!", "An Open Letter To NYC" and more. (CD contains the video to "Rhyme The Rhyme Well". CD case has a small cut out hole.)

 

[Pressuredrop88]

Bootsy's Rubber Band -- This Boot Is Made For Fonk-N . . . LP . . . $6.99 (Item: 3173)
Warner, 1979 Condition: Very Good+ View Cart
Not as all-out incredible as some of Bootsy's other work -- and it feels a bit like the band is going through the motions, on kind of a P-Funk treadmill -- but there's still plenty of great party funk on the record, and the set's recorded with a sound that almost sounds live! Titles include "Jam Fan (Hot)", "Bootsy Get Live", "Under The Influence Of A Groove", and "Shejam". (From the Soul/Funk LP (A-D) page.)

-Dusty Groove can never say a record is bad, but you always know its going to be bad when they make negative comparisons the artists' other work. Its always funny to see how they dodge giving a bad record review. I guess it makes sense...They do want to sell records, right?

 

[ako]

Beastie Boys -- To The 5 Boroughs

god, biggest let down of my entire life...what a piece of shit