yeah food options are kind of limitless, what do you and your lady like in particular?
Here's a pretty comprehensive list of good san diego beaches.
http://www.sandiego.org/article_set/Visitors/5
My favorites include:
La Jolla Cove - Not really a beach (since the sea lions have taken over the place), but got's some great scenery, mixed in with high-end boutiques and restaurants. If you snorkel or scuba, this would be the place in SD.
La Jolla beaches - there are a bunch of beaches south of the La Jolla Cove, including Scripps/La Jolla Pier, Windansea, Bird Rock, etc. Some are crowded, some are secluded. You'll definitely find something you'll like. Tons of cool restaurants as you drive down La Jolla Boulevard.
Blacks in La Jolla - Like Mylatency said, this place is secluded becuase it's like a 15 minute walk down stairs from the parking lot. This is where the nude sunbathers hang (ie old gay freeballers).
Pacific Beach/Mission Beach - This is the area if you want to check out the Becky/Chad scene in San Diego. Lots of college age kids, lots of beach-front bars, etc. Not secluded but crowded.
Coronado Beach - This is pretty much family oriented beach, nice and calm, no waves. I suggest taking the ferry from the downtown harbor near airport to Coronado. Pretty chill and beautiful place, also with lots of boutique and good restaurants.
Beachs in Del Mar (Solana/Encinitas) - These are pretty cool too. More beach/surf culture up there.
As for music spots, lots of Becky/Chad hangout and wannabee upscale "miami-type" joints.