Anxiety

[BallzDeep]

bassie said:one chooses to be depressed and/or anxiety-ridden. Simply not true.




I swear I know people who do this.


But yeah...


Choosing to be happy means to choose to do something about it. It will take some effort,


you can't expect it to fall in your lap.





Good luck 'trode.

 

[twoply]

Big_Stacks said:bassie said:

You must CHOOSE to be happy

The bootstraps myth of mental health. While there are people in the world who thrive on negativity and/or the supposed romanticism of despair and need to break out of that cycle, there are others for whom depression and anxiety is a very real and weighty cloud that they can't get out from under. I know people are being helpful, but the implication of being able to "choose" happiness is that one chooses to be depressed and/or anxiety-ridden. Simply not true. And to be clear, for a lot of people, depression isn't about unhappiness but the absence of almost any emotions/connections and the inability to find an answer for, as Electrode put it, "why bother?".




Hi Bassie,





I agree totally. I should've been clearer. By choosing happiness I meant to be proactive in doing things that will enhance well-being. Of course, that would include seeking out professional help in cases of mental (or physical) illness. The point is to not fall into a state of learned helplessness about one's illness. Certainly, I didn't mean to minimize the impact mental illness (actually, I'm a psychologist by training).





Peace,





Big Stacks from Kakalak




I think I understand what you're saying, Stacks. My sister and I were both exposed to a good deal of stress as children (moving apartments constantly, going to 7 different schools, two divorces, etc.) and the difference in how we've coped as adults is like night and day. I've been more proactive in seeking out help in understanding my issues and I've recognized that I'm the one with the power to make healthy choices for myself moving forward. My sister is still struggling with shedding that attitude of victimhood that prevents her from taking responsibility for her own well-being. As long as she refuses to clear that mental hurdle, she'll still be searching for some magic bullet that will cure her anxiety and depression at one fell swoop.





This thread is full of great advice. Electrode, I feel for you and I hope you can find something here that helps. You're clearly open to examining the issues and roadblocks you're facing and that's a great attitude to start with. When overwhelmed by circumstances that are difficult to control or feelings of existential hopelessness, I find it helpful to practice deep breathing, like Paycheck recommended, and remind myself that meaningful improvement is usually a slow process. As long as you keep at it, you'll see improvement and slowly the anxiety will feel more manageable.

 

[bassie]

NateBizzo said: People who have a passion for the outdoors are the happiest people I know.




E - Not sure where you are located and if you are headed towards cold weather and winter (if so, maybe something to keep in mind for next spring) but gardening is something worth trying. If your place doesn't have the space for it, there might be a community garden in your area. If not, maybe it's something to look into starting. It will depend on your municipality, but it is an endeavour that some areas publicly fund. Nurturing and maintaining a garden and growing your own food is both therapeutic and rewarding. There is a lot to be said for being self-sufficient, even in the smallest way. Community gardens put you in touch with people around you and depending on what the model is, provide fresh vegetables to those in need. You can even start small with indoor herb pots.

 

[Electrode]

What a difference a day makes! I, for the first time in a couple weeks, feel really good. It's weird how I can go from miserable one day to euphoric the next. Anyhow, I'm kicking ass at work today and am brimming with ideas, thanks to all of you, of what I can do





parallax said:


Which brings me to my next point...





I suggest joining a co-ed rec sports league and taking up softball, or ultimate, soccer, etc. No one takes the games seriously, so don't worry if you "suck", just have a good sense of humour about it. You'll start making friends in no time, and although they might not share a love of raers, they'll still be down for post-game drinks. It's okay to be shy and feel things out for the first bit. But remember, they don't know you, so you get a fresh start--take advantage.







NateBizzo said:


People who have a passion for the outdoors are the happiest people I know. Running, riding a bike, climbing, etc... are all cheap cost of entry and great ways to clear your head. There a ton of meet-up style groups that are down to nurture beginners of all activities. Something to considering.







I just saw on meetup.com there's a local soccer group that plays at the park right around the corner. I haven't played since elementary school. They meet this Saturday morning, actually. I had a couple of you tell me to do some research regarding a possible career change. Well, I have been making phone calls to film post-production places (I love film and I took a digital video editing course earlier this year, so why not?) to ask them what exactly they do everyday. One person offered to take me on a tour of the place one day. I guess that's progress.





And I do have a garden, actually. It's a 2' x 8' space where I grow my own hot peppers. I tried tomatoes last season, but fungus and bugs completely screwed them up.





Anyhow, I just want to let you guys know that none of what has been mentioned has fallen gone on deaf ears. I think airing this out yesterday is just what I needed.

 

[bassie]

Well there you go. My tomatoes did pretty good this year and my hot peppers did not!

 

[LaserWolf]

Thank you Bassie.

 

[Big_Stacks]

Hey Electrode (and everyone),





One thing that I have incorporated into my efforts to maintain well-being is full-body massage. I have been chair of my academic department for 2 years and it is quite stressful. I get a massage weekly, and it's amazing how the stress literally rolls off of my back. Perhaps, if feasible, you can incorporate massage into your efforts to improve your well-being. This is an example of an active response to managing my stress and it has been really helpful. To the 'Strut massive, I am always impressed with how knowledgeable you are and how you show such wonderful support in times of distress. To Electrode, be well and know that I'm pulling for you, my friend!!!





Peace,





Big Stacks from Kakalak

 

[jjfad027]

I've had good luck with this for sleep. (whole foods has it).





Also not eating after 7pm or so has helped.

 

[Horseleech]

Electrode said:What a difference a day makes! I, for the first time in a couple weeks, feel really good. It's weird how I can go from miserable one day to euphoric the next. Anyhow, I'm kicking ass at work today and am brimming with ideas, thanks to all of you, of what I can do




Honestly, this doesn't surprise me at all. The first step in solving many problems of this nature is to 'put it out there' so to speak. Say it out loud to people you know, or even people you don't. Even if you don't get the great responses you got here, that act alone can help set off a chain of events that can lead you in the right direction.

 

[cove]

While the subject of this thread is a dark and sad one, the great advice and sincerity in here is fucking lovely.

 

[Burns]

We are human. Life is suffering. We have all been hurt. I don't think you have lived until you have had your heart broken or a close friend or relative has passed on to the otherside.





We are happy and we are sad. Take the fuckin' happy days by the horns and ride em till the cows come home. Enjoy those special moments with the people who you love. Smile. Have sex as often as possible. Hug your closest friends. They need it.

 

[ppadilha]

Electrode said:I had a couple of you tell me to do some research regarding a possible career change. Well, I have been making phone calls to film post-production places (I love film and I took a digital video editing course earlier this year, so why not?) to ask them what exactly they do everyday. One person offered to take me on a tour of the place one day. I guess that's progress.




I've been working in post-production for over 10 years. Feel free to PM if you have questions or want advice on how to get into it. The work can be boring/grueling at times (what job isn't?) but at the end of a project it can be quite gratifying.





if you do the soccer thing, or any team sport, don't give up after a few tries. You'll suck at first, and it might be frustrating/embarrassing, but you'll only get better the more you play. Team sports are great not just for the exercise, it can really help you build up confidence as well.

 

[skullsnaps]

CBT, cognitive behavioral therapy, has been shown to be very effective in treating anxiety and panic attacks. It is not endless talk therapy where you will be discussing every thing that ever happened to you in your life and all the things your mom/dad did to fuck you up (not that there's anything wrong with that kind of therapy). It is goal oriented therapy that can accomplish a lot in a shortish amount of time with very specific methods. Read up on it a little and see if it appeals to you. Good luck.

 

[Otis_Funkmeyer]

There is a lot of great advice in this thread.


Volunteering can help you get out of your own head and see the world from another perspective, and helping others creates a feeling of self-worth and joy.


Relationships can be tricky but I'm learning more and more that if you want a friend, you have to be a friend first. Even romantically, if you want a girlfriend, you have to be a good boyfriend. It's an active thing, not passive.


Definitely try to stop comparing yourself to others. Even though they may appear to have more than you, they could be miserable too. However, it is good to choose role models and can even be helpful to try to follow the path they took to achieving whatever it is you want to achieve.


One thing to add, and though it may sound silly, I really think it helps me, is to consciously think happy thoughts. I find myself doing it often. Even simple things like remembering a scene from a movie that made me crack up. Actively searching out the happy moments in my past and keeping those memories bright and fresh by "visiting" them often. Doing this will remind you that you are capable of happiness and will find it again.





Let yourself fantasize and visualize yourself happy in the future. Where are you? What are you doing? Who are you with? This exercise can help you put together those 10 and 5 year plans mentioned earlier, which are crucial.





Also: Things are never as bad as you think they are!

 

[Duderonomy]

 

[Casteneda]

Hey guys,





I just read through this thread, and I really appreciated reading the responses regarding ideas for coping with anxiety. I have struggled with anxiety on and off for 15 years. Definitely meditation and exercise have been keys in helping me through the anxiety, and medication as well. The one thing that I haven't been able to pinpoint is that I'll have some mornings when I'm driving to work, and will just start crying in my car and I don't know why. Sometimes I'm thinking about things that I'm thankful that I have in my life and I get emotional (thinking about my wife, and my 3 year old son). Other times, I start breaking down and I don't know why. It could be stress-related anxiety, but sometimes I worry that there is something deeper going on inside me and I haven't been able to figure it out. I've never had these break downs before until the past few years--I don't know if it's because I'm getting older (36 years old now) and I'm getting more emotional or what. I cry a lot more than I used to--but generally privately but I sometimes get concerned about that. Does anyone else ever struggle with this? I wonder if it's related to anxiety or something else altogether.

 

[Otis_Funkmeyer]

I don't think there's anything unhealthy about shedding some tears while being thankful for your family. I'd be concerned if you never did.


If you're regularly pulling over to sob uncontrollably, that's another story.

 

[Casteneda]

Otis_Funkmeyer said:I don't think there's anything unhealthy about shedding some tears while being thankful for your family. I'd be concerned if you never did.


If you're regularly pulling over to sob uncontrollably, that's another story.




Well, that's good to hear...honestly, I don't ask friends about it so I didn't know if it was considered normal or not to do so. Yeah, I would definitely be worried more about myself if I had to pull over from sobbing uncontrollably as well!