The day I stop referring to burgers as "steamed hams" will be the day they lower me into the ground.
I'm also a big fan of drinking "bourbon, the brownest of the brown liquors".
And instead of replying to jokes with LOL, I often go to the trouble of typing out "Derivative dy = 3 r squared dr over 3". I even have it saved in my phone just so I can text it to people.