City Strutters - Dealing w/ Neighbors Related

[jlee]

Probably could put this post in the "things that piss you off" thread but anyway...

So me and the chick live in a loft space in Brooklyn. Nothing crazy, but a 6 unit spot (its a Co-Op, and we are the only ones who rent). It was basically made in a manner where the building could have just as easily been used for offices/mix, but instead it was used for residential living (i.e. its not a brownstone or anything like that). Oh yeah, and it has wood floors.

So after 1.5 years of living here, the downstairs neighbors are starting to throw a big hissy fit with all the "noise" me and the chick make. Mind you, i am getting old and we got full time jobs, so at best we are there and awake 6-7hrs a day, and we are not having parties or staying up till 4am.

From our point of view, we are living life like proper adults. No crazy noise or loud music. We have some carpets in the spot. And we are mindful to take our shoes off usually. We even have given them heads up when we have had people over before for a surprise party. Point being, we have recognized that the building has crap insulation, so we are trying to be good neighbors.

So after several passive-aggressive comments & conversations from our downstairs neighbor (on some, "i know you aren't doing anything wrong, but its just kinda loud") they have gone and sent a letter to our landlord. I suspect they are probably sending one to the co-op board as well. Right now our landlord has our back, but as she is the only one who rents, i have a feeling that the board will probably lean to those that own rather than those that rent.

What's the Strut consensus on this type of situation? Right now , mine is on some "FU" go move to fucking Connecticut if you can't deal. I am a pretty chill dude, but this couple have me pissed. Do you think City folk need to be a lot more understanding to this type of ordeal with noise, or do you fall in the "Owners win -out" camp? Do you think I owe it to shag carpet my whole place to appease the cats? FYI, we hear our upstairs neighbors too, but don't make an issue out of it.

Personally, I suspect my neighbors are just pissed that they invested heavily in a spot with shit insulation. To make matters worse, they have a lofted bed within their space, so their bed is even closer to the ceiling than would be. I told my landlord that if the board wants to re-insulate the space fine, but i am not about to put my money down just for my space when the whole construction of the building is at fault.

/rant

 

[pcmr]

try and speak to the asshole couple and explain it's an insulation issue not you are loud


anyone living there would be loud


you have to endure the pussyfooting and excessive complaints of people with thin walls and no patience





we have similar neighbors and they tried to pull some shit


they work in a restaurant so they come home late and have to sleep until 11am


they sent a letter to our landlord since i played music (not loud and like mellow harp jazz) in the morning...they could have told us in person


then they wrote a passive aggressive letter


i myself do not party much (inhouse) and am respectful so we agreed to not play anything (i even kept the morning news at below audible levels) before 11


after something like 14 months we forgot what time it was and played classic guitar record at 10:15


two tracks in the women rings our doorbell...i tell her i forgot and we have been respectful for over a year...and she says her sleep is disturbed and her husband said ''not again''


they are an elderly couple so i apologized and swallowed my pride and inner steam


but basically you have to cool the fire and expect no compromise or the nagging continues

 

[empanadamn]

chill with the irish jigs and riverdancing, son.

 

[DB_Cooper]

Go to the mattresses. This aggression will not stand.





No, for real, it sounds like you've done everything you can short of throwing acoustic insulation foam on your floors and walls. Does the condo board have an open-style meeting where you can plead your side?

 

[p_gunn]

you're renting, so why would u put money into insulating a place you don't own? fuck that...





i had a friend who had similar issues (lived in a converted loft in BK) and his downstairs neighbors bought him a plush rug... it solved things, b/c every time he walked on the rug (which was a damn nice rug, actually), it served 2 purposes:





1) muffled footsteps really well


2) reminded him to be mindful of the guy downstairs





honestly, if you aren't actually being noisy, i don't know what they can do to you, although i have zero experience w/ co-op boards...

 

[jlee]

they have board meetings each month or so, but as we are not owners, I don't know how much say we would even have. Also, this Co-Op is included with a few others on the block that are strangely inter connected without actually being apart of the same structure, so other board members probably don't even realize the acoustic issue with our specific building.





i am not about to lose sleep over this, but I'd also prefer not to live in a place where i have to mean mug my neighbors each time i see them. i get the feeling, its just the nature of how they are.





its just annoying, because aside from them, pretty much everything else about our spot (and other neighbors) is very cool. to me this just reeks of people that don't want to grasp that there is always a downside to living in a city and a building with neighbors. by a fucking house in the country if you don't want to hear anyone.

 

[DB_Cooper]

jlee said:by a fucking house in the country if you don't want to hear anyone.




Seriously. It's New York City. Might as well be pissed that the sky is blue.

 

[empanadamn]

have you talked to neighbors who have similar issues? if so, how do they get around it? is this the only interaction you've had with the downstairs neighbors? you said that this is something recent, so have you guys changed something up? have you approached them man to (wo)man during a time when they're not complaining to discuss the situation, asking what the possibilities are to appease them or how they keep quiet for the neighbors below them?





it doesn't hurt to ask questions and show that you're making attempts to do something about it as opposed to having what could be perceived as passive-aggressive exchange. it sucks to make enemies with the people that you live with / around.

 

[Almond]

Have one of them walk around your place while the other listens in the apartment down below. They need to understand that it's gravity, not you.

 

[LaserWolf]

Chick?

 

[jjfad027]

Throw an all-nighter with the biggest PA you can find.

 

[HarveyCanal]

Don't be an Okie your whole life. You know what to do.

 

[jlee]

LaserWolf said:Chick?




ha...meant as a term of endearment for my GF.








As for dealings with the neighbors themselves, we have had some discussion over the months. truth be told, this has come up about 3-5 times in the total time we have been living there (so once every 3 mos or so, they will make a comment).





i have no problem being mindful of them, and also getting checked IF i am in the wrong (which i admit, have been when i first moved in). but this really seems like an issue where they are mad at the building acoustics and taking it out on us as a result. the fact that they have a lofted bed is doing them no favors either.





we've toyed with the idea of having them come over and walk around just to hear, but i really would like to avoid the, "well just put a carpet here, or here, or here. I suppose we are going to have to go down that road though, just to try and avoid things going forward.

 

[jlee]

HarveyCanal saidon't be an Okie your whole life. You know what to do.




haha...sayin. bout to have a fucking break dancing contest in this bitch.





b/w


OKC in 6. fusk dallas.

 

[HarveyCanal]

jlee said:OKC in 6. fusk dallas.




I'm with you all the way on that, hoss.

 

[tripledouble]

i feel your pain. i own two house on a row of 3. the last one is owned by a lady and her 8 year old (and her two cute college daughters who are semi moved out). she goes to work at 5am and is a sleep by 9pm. so when i was working on the middle house, which for years was an abandoned moldy squatters drug house, she was up my ass constantly about noise. i tried my damdest to not work after 9pm. we get along decent tho and i thought she would be happy to have a wonderful family i have known for years move in next door to her when i started renting it in october. this fam has 2 beautiful daughters, 7 & 2 and is the most peaceful kind family unit ever. my old neighbor hates them. "theyre ignorant" "they make too much noise" "he was rude to me" "tony, i know i can be a bitch, but i dont like them". i swear she was happier living next to a crack house.





anyway, all that being said. its your neighbor and you dont want to put your mad face on the second you walk out the door. kill them with kindness. by all means dont start buying shit or hampering your life excessively. yo ushouldnt have to tiptoe around an apt you probably pay lots of money for. invite them over for tea...show them how you and your girl live and walk...talk about possible solutions. they need to understand that you cant afford to go carpeting your floors or insulating them. they are fools, but they arent your enemy. the shoddy corner cutting work of the condo rehabbers/investors are the enemy. they knew damn well how much money they would save by not insulating between floors

 

[Frank]

Tell them they should have bought both floors if they want it quiet.


Put your speakers facedown on the floor and leave some Eurotrance CD on autorepeat before going to work.

 

[RAJ]

Frank said:


Put your speakers facedown on the floor and leave some Eurotrance CD on autorepeat before going to work.




^^^^^^^





This

 

[jlee]

while i appreciate all the recommendations for getting all GABBER up in this bitch and making them nutz with the Euroman music, i think 3double probably hit it on the head with this....





tripledouble said: they are fools, but they arent your enemy. the shoddy corner cutting work of the condo rehabbers/investors are the enemy. they knew damn well how much money they would save by not insulating between floors




I suspect that they have a bigger issue with our landlord (who renovated the place just before we moved in too). i suspect its probably been an ongoing issue with them, and unfortunately we are the ones that are having to deal with them now.





not trying to get walked on by them either, but i'll probably try to err on the side of understanding (at least for now).

 

[bassie]

Have they specified what kind of noisy, though?


Your walking? Doors banging? Music?


I mean, has it been specified so you can all come to an understanding/compromise/solution?





Them sleeping closer to the ceiling, and your floor, is definitely not helping and that decision is really on them.





edit - Tom's post about hating folks having to make it all self-referential has me on my toes, but here goes..I had never wanted to own a house and after living in two back-to-back horrible rental situations in downtown Toronto, I realized the only way to get away from other people's schedules and habits is to buy a fully detached house.

to me this just reeks of people that don't want to grasp that there is always a downside to living in a city and a building with neighbors. by a fucking house in the country if you don't want to hear anyone.

So there is stock in that; you can't change people, you have to just get away from them.











The last place before the house, I lived on the middle floor of a three-storey. The dude upstairs walked so hard that all the glass in my place shook. I am not even exaggerating. His deck was above the bedroom so every time he dragged the patio furniture around and banged in and out of the place - it meant hours of no sleep. How do you even have that conversation? It's basically telling someone how to live! I finally had to say something about the stomping when something fell off the mantle. I started with "This is going to sound ridiculous, but..." He was totally embarrassed, and so was I, but his gallop got a lot lighter after that.