Dear College,Tomorrow I finish you. I have your last exam in the morning Right now I am trying to finish the take home essay part of said exam, and it's going slowly. This is a terrible class with a professor who maybe once cared, but certainly does not now. For some reason, it feels appropriate to let you fizzle out like that. I learned more from you this past year than I really thought I would the three years before. Thanks for hiring Professor D***a, she is cool and made me a better person. Writing my thesis was tight, too. Later!SchnipperDear DJ Technics,What is that little wooden xylophone noise you have on the guestlist song on that 12" with you Photoshopped into a boxing ring? It sounds so neat. Why do I like this song so much?Matthew SchnipperDear Kingmost,I bet you would like some of Kylie Minogue's songs. Just FYISchnipperDear Ana Mendieta,It totally blows you died. When I saw your exhibit, I was really moved. I don't usually like that performance art-y style shit but you were real serious AND real playful at the same time! "OMG" I thought, "how does she do it?" I mean I guess you did it by living in Iowa and chilling out in the woods and getting high or whatever but that shit is effective. I really liked that thing you did with the stockings over your face so I cut out the little pictures from the Hirshhorn's guide and put them on my wall. I was thinking about moving while staring at nothing and trying to write that paper and looked at the photos and realized I might not get to bring them with me. I know they're just little cut outs but going to that shit was real serious for me, okay? RIP, okay?MatthewDear Pastel Polo Shirts,It's onSchnipperDear Thin Black Hooded Sweatshirt that Doesn't Sag in the Arm,I think you might have to go away because it's real hot in DC but I really like wearing you and it's making me sad. Don't take it personal. I know you are not like a real thing with feelings or whatever but you've been on my body a lot and shit is intimateSchnipperDear Cool Job that Pays Tons of Money,Hi, I'm MatthewSchnipperDear People Attending the Homeless Shelter Benefit Event I am DJing on Saturday,I'm nervous you are going to be bummed out about the music I am playing. I know you are old but I bet you are nice people because you are donating to a homeless shelter and attending their weird hat competition or whatever. Look this nice lady is paying me a bunch of money to do this and I am going to do whatever I can to make everyone real happy but if you aren't stoked on Motown and like the Beach Boys and some real nice soulful style music this might be a problem. I'm going to do what I can, okay?DJ Matthew SchnipperDear My Neck,You always get real sweaty when it's hot out. Why? What else is sweaty? Nothing? My neck skin is going to be real fucked up when I am old because of this. Shit is going to chafe and people and be generally atrocious. I mean, maybe not, but maybe. Am I supposed to get like neck deoderant? Do they make that? IckSchnipperDear Washington Wizards,Not that I am always the biggest sports fan, but I am proud of you dudes and watch your games and get excited. I respect that Kwame Brown decision and think you have integrity and blah blah. I love Gilbert just like every Rockville mom. Good luck against Shaq and the Heat but it's chill if you lose. You goSchnipperDear My Sister,It's going to be so chill when you come down for graduation. We are going to get twistedYour Brother
Letters to things and people
- Thread starter schnipper
- Start date
Dear Ana Mendieta,
It totally blows you died. When I saw your exhibit, I was really moved. I don't usually like that performance art-y style shit but you were real serious AND real playful at the same time! "OMG" I thought, "how does she do it?" I mean I guess you did it by living in Iowa and chilling out in the woods and getting high or whatever but that shit is effective. I really liked that thing you did with the stockings over your face so I cut out the little pictures from the Hirshhorn's guide and put them on my wall. I was thinking about moving while staring at nothing and trying to write that paper and looked at the photos and realized I might not get to bring them with me. I know they're just little cut outs but going to that shit was real serious for me, okay? RIP, okay?
Matthew
WURD
It totally blows you died. When I saw your exhibit, I was really moved. I don't usually like that performance art-y style shit but you were real serious AND real playful at the same time! "OMG" I thought, "how does she do it?" I mean I guess you did it by living in Iowa and chilling out in the woods and getting high or whatever but that shit is effective. I really liked that thing you did with the stockings over your face so I cut out the little pictures from the Hirshhorn's guide and put them on my wall. I was thinking about moving while staring at nothing and trying to write that paper and looked at the photos and realized I might not get to bring them with me. I know they're just little cut outs but going to that shit was real serious for me, okay? RIP, okay?
Matthew
WURD
Dear College,
I'm not finishing you tomorrow, but I will be soon. But I tell you what, if I didn't past Calc I'm gonna fuck you up you incredible piece of shit. I think I could've learned the same amount of material in about 9 months and saved thousands of dollars. And what's with these new editions of books that are the same as the old ones cept the chapters are switched around and you changed the numbers in the homework problems so you get them wrong? That's fucked up. And what's the deal with having to pay over $100 a semester just to park in a shitty deck that drips shit on my paint and ruins the finish, while people dent up the panelling and try to break into it, all the while I get fat ass tickets cause I couldn't find anywhere to park anyway so I had to make my own space? Oh, and another question, what's with these advisors that don't know what the fuck they're talking about? I mean, they could at least be upfront and say they don't know it instead of pretending like they do. Anyway, I hope these piece of paper is worth it and I wasn't kidding about the calc.
Grafwritah
Dear DJ Technics,
DJs aren't really musicians, just thought you should know.
-G
Dear Random Dead Musicians,
Sorry you died. Half the time I don't think people even own any of your shit but need something to post and what can we say, the Associated Press is prolific. Anyway, try to lay off the heroin or coke or whiskey or whatever it was that made you die prematurely next time around, ok?
grafwritah
Dear Pastel Polo Shirts,
Don't even think about it.
Graf
Dear Cool Job that Pays Tons of Money,
Where are you?
Graf W. Ritah
Dear People Throwing the Homeless Shelter Benefit Event Schnipper is DJing on Saturday,
Just bring me some food and some new socks, ok? I'll be too busy walking backwards talking to myself to really notice the DJ, but it would be great if next time you took that money and all bought us some Magnum 40s and some porn.
Thanks for the thought,
Graf
Dear My Sistahs,
I'm an open minded guy. Bring a few friends, ok?
Thanks,
Grafwritah
I'm not finishing you tomorrow, but I will be soon. But I tell you what, if I didn't past Calc I'm gonna fuck you up you incredible piece of shit. I think I could've learned the same amount of material in about 9 months and saved thousands of dollars. And what's with these new editions of books that are the same as the old ones cept the chapters are switched around and you changed the numbers in the homework problems so you get them wrong? That's fucked up. And what's the deal with having to pay over $100 a semester just to park in a shitty deck that drips shit on my paint and ruins the finish, while people dent up the panelling and try to break into it, all the while I get fat ass tickets cause I couldn't find anywhere to park anyway so I had to make my own space? Oh, and another question, what's with these advisors that don't know what the fuck they're talking about? I mean, they could at least be upfront and say they don't know it instead of pretending like they do. Anyway, I hope these piece of paper is worth it and I wasn't kidding about the calc.
Grafwritah
Dear DJ Technics,
DJs aren't really musicians, just thought you should know.
-G
Dear Random Dead Musicians,
Sorry you died. Half the time I don't think people even own any of your shit but need something to post and what can we say, the Associated Press is prolific. Anyway, try to lay off the heroin or coke or whiskey or whatever it was that made you die prematurely next time around, ok?
grafwritah
Dear Pastel Polo Shirts,
Don't even think about it.
Graf
Dear Cool Job that Pays Tons of Money,
Where are you?
Graf W. Ritah
Dear People Throwing the Homeless Shelter Benefit Event Schnipper is DJing on Saturday,
Just bring me some food and some new socks, ok? I'll be too busy walking backwards talking to myself to really notice the DJ, but it would be great if next time you took that money and all bought us some Magnum 40s and some porn.
Thanks for the thought,
Graf
Dear My Sistahs,
I'm an open minded guy. Bring a few friends, ok?
Thanks,
Grafwritah
Dear Kinetic-I really never got these... posts.
I feel strange just reading them.
You're as much of a dork as the rest of us. Let it go. Then maybe Bsides can toss your salad with his sizzzyyruopupup.
Thanks,
G
try it...Then maybe Bsides can toss your salad with his sizzzyyruopupup.
it feels great.
I knew it
try it...I really never got these... posts.
I feel strange just reading them.
it feels great.
Ok, ok, lemme have a go. I think I get it now.
Dear Letters to things and people post,
i feel strange when I read you. You make me feel uncomfortable like when white people are confronted with the atrocities their ancestors committed to ethnic minorities in-front of a black person.
Sincerely,
person who is just as nerdy as the rest of you
So... how did i do?
Can I get a mark out of 10?
dear job,
please get busy because i am dying of boredom here. while i don't mind sitting on my ass and getting paid for doing nothing, i would much rather have someone to talk to or something to do at this point in time. thank you.
brian
dear college,
thank you for finally being over. you were a fucking pain in the ass this semester but i am done with you. i will be going to a new college in the fall and i can't say that i will miss you. bye bye.
brian
dear brian,
please finish up the mixtape you have been working on and practice mixing because you suck.
brian
please get busy because i am dying of boredom here. while i don't mind sitting on my ass and getting paid for doing nothing, i would much rather have someone to talk to or something to do at this point in time. thank you.
brian
dear college,
thank you for finally being over. you were a fucking pain in the ass this semester but i am done with you. i will be going to a new college in the fall and i can't say that i will miss you. bye bye.
brian
dear brian,
please finish up the mixtape you have been working on and practice mixing because you suck.
brian
dear brian,
have you ever heard someone get excited because they're being transferred from one prison to another? no? ok, now maybe you're seeing the cruel joke.
bwahaha,
college
Oh wow, so you can reply as anything that someone writes to? That adds interesting possiblities to this situation.
Dear Kinetic,
I am a figment of other soulstrutter's imagination, and their hope that they can somehow feel that their odd fetishes are ormal and legitimate
Bye for now
Porn colection
Dear Kinetic,
I am a figment of other soulstrutter's imagination, and their hope that they can somehow feel that their odd fetishes are ormal and legitimate
Bye for now
Porn colection
dear college,
i understand the joke, but after 3 years on your campus, i really needed a change of scenery. plus, the new college is a ten minute walk away from my home and workplace. i have heard that there are not as many beautiful females at my new college but that is okay because i really need to get focused now.
bye bye,
brian
i understand the joke, but after 3 years on your campus, i really needed a change of scenery. plus, the new college is a ten minute walk away from my home and workplace. i have heard that there are not as many beautiful females at my new college but that is okay because i really need to get focused now.
bye bye,
brian
Dear Kinetic,
I am glad you are staying committed to our relationship. I was really beginning to feel like we were drifting apart there. Welcome back buddy.
Love,
Denial
I am glad you are staying committed to our relationship. I was really beginning to feel like we were drifting apart there. Welcome back buddy.
Love,
Denial
Dear Guzzo-
Then please get off me, because you stay on me 24/7. I'm beginning to think you have a secret crush because you keep insisting on making contact when no one has so much as mentioned you in like 9 months.
Please stay away from my ass,
Grafwritah (dick)
Dear all of Soulstrut,
Things will calm down after tomorrow, don't worry.
No weirder than the rest of you,
Grafwritah
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