confessions.
- Thread starter vintageinfants
- Start date
Walked to the small local shopping centre with my friends after school one day.
Saw two dogs of the same breed arse to arse stuck together outside the Grocers and being a dog lover got all upset at the poor "siamese Twin dogs" and their tough lives.
Went into another shop with my friend and when we came out a huge penny dropped as to what had been going on when I saw one of the dogs curled back licking his doggy stick on the pavement.
I felt really stupid when I realized what had happened but glad I never voiced my concerns to my friends who would have clowned me for years after..
Saw two dogs of the same breed arse to arse stuck together outside the Grocers and being a dog lover got all upset at the poor "siamese Twin dogs" and their tough lives.
Went into another shop with my friend and when we came out a huge penny dropped as to what had been going on when I saw one of the dogs curled back licking his doggy stick on the pavement.
I felt really stupid when I realized what had happened but glad I never voiced my concerns to my friends who would have clowned me for years after..
When I was 4 or 5 I put dog poop in my mouth because I was told it was chocolate
At the same age I noticed that ants were larger up in the mountains. I assumed that one could take small city ants up into the mountains and they would grown bigger along the way.
I thought Dr John was black for years
I fart on BART
At the same age I noticed that ants were larger up in the mountains. I assumed that one could take small city ants up into the mountains and they would grown bigger along the way.
I thought Dr John was black for years
I fart on BART
when I was a kid and hearing "you sexy thing" by Hot Chocolate for the first time, i thought the guy was singing "I believe in knuckles" instead of "i believe in miracles"
i only took $50 instead of $100 from you because when you weren't looking on the 15th hole, i foot wedged my ball into shorter grass in the rough.
As a kid I thought Metallica's for whom the bell tolls was really "oh Novelto!" like it was about some Greek god or something I didn't know.
Also, at some point in my life someone told me that the pit in a banana, the little butt end, was bat poop. Like bats hang in banana trees and pollenate them or something. I was in high school when I first put some real thought to it and was just like "that's impossible."
Also, at some point in my life someone told me that the pit in a banana, the little butt end, was bat poop. Like bats hang in banana trees and pollenate them or something. I was in high school when I first put some real thought to it and was just like "that's impossible."
james said:
But yeah, I always thought "Deep Cover" was "Tonight's the night like Betty White / and I'm chillin'", and I'm still incapable of hearing "Move On Up" as anything other than "Take nothing less / than the second-best" (which makes no fucking sense) or hearing the first line of "September" as anything other than "Do you remember / when it was like September?" (which I like a lot better than the real line, actually
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Exactly the same with me here. Absurd.
Cadeux, a fellow strutter from Munich always thought that Biggie said: "Puttin' 5 carrots in my baby girl ear". He's a Chef, so it is kinda understandable... (whatup S***)
But yeah, I always thought "Deep Cover" was "Tonight's the night like Betty White / and I'm chillin'", and I'm still incapable of hearing "Move On Up" as anything other than "Take nothing less / than the second-best" (which makes no fucking sense) or hearing the first line of "September" as anything other than "Do you remember / when it was like September?" (which I like a lot better than the real line, actually
.
Exactly the same with me here. Absurd.
Cadeux, a fellow strutter from Munich always thought that Biggie said: "Puttin' 5 carrots in my baby girl ear". He's a Chef, so it is kinda understandable... (whatup S***)
james said:A few years ago during a visit, my mom presented me with a pair of sandals. Now, I would bite my grandmother before I'd ever wear a pair of fucking sandals (no offense to my man JRoot, who I know gets down like that--it's a lifestyle choice, I understand) . . .
None taken. But my grandmother is dead on both sides, so don't go biting her either when you find your feet laced with papers, etc.
I once got heckled by a homeless dude in church while giving a sermon on youth sunday that referenced both Malcolm X and MLK (I think Youth Sunday was on Malcolm X's birthday or something). The scripture passage had to do with the transfiguration and going to the mountaintop, so I was talking about how we are all trying to get to the mountaintop, but we are beset by iniquities and all that worldly ish that just drags us down and keeps us from getting there. Then the homeless dude gets up and asks, "Does the speaker claim to be innocent of all these?" I got so frazzled that I repeated almost every single sentence after that. I later learned that the church authorities told the homeless dude that he wasn't welcome at our church anymore, which really bummed me out. Even if it did mess up my sermon, it's not very christian to throw him out. God doesn't care as much about my sermon as he does about the homeless dude's soul. And frankly, neither did I. So I guess I'm confessing that a) I was a boy preacher and b) I accidentally got a homeless dude kicked out of church.
I'd confess about the mandals, but james has already outed me on that front. Every good sinner knows that confessing the stuff everyone already knows about is much easier than confessing the really dark and secret stuff.
None taken. But my grandmother is dead on both sides, so don't go biting her either when you find your feet laced with papers, etc.
I once got heckled by a homeless dude in church while giving a sermon on youth sunday that referenced both Malcolm X and MLK (I think Youth Sunday was on Malcolm X's birthday or something). The scripture passage had to do with the transfiguration and going to the mountaintop, so I was talking about how we are all trying to get to the mountaintop, but we are beset by iniquities and all that worldly ish that just drags us down and keeps us from getting there. Then the homeless dude gets up and asks, "Does the speaker claim to be innocent of all these?" I got so frazzled that I repeated almost every single sentence after that. I later learned that the church authorities told the homeless dude that he wasn't welcome at our church anymore, which really bummed me out. Even if it did mess up my sermon, it's not very christian to throw him out. God doesn't care as much about my sermon as he does about the homeless dude's soul. And frankly, neither did I. So I guess I'm confessing that a) I was a boy preacher and b) I accidentally got a homeless dude kicked out of church.
I'd confess about the mandals, but james has already outed me on that front. Every good sinner knows that confessing the stuff everyone already knows about is much easier than confessing the really dark and secret stuff.
Big Chan is like the only person here that doesn't make me cringe when typing LOL
I think because he seems like the kind of good-natured dude who is actually laughing at loud when typing that.
I think because he seems like the kind of good-natured dude who is actually laughing at loud when typing that.
edith head said:Big Chan is like the only person here that doesn't make me cringe when typing LOL
I think because he seems like the kind of good-natured dude who is actually laughing at loud when typing that.
"LOL!!! AWWW D GOT JOKES!! YOU A FOOL FOR THAT ONE!!! LOL!!!"
I think because he seems like the kind of good-natured dude who is actually laughing at loud when typing that.
"LOL!!! AWWW D GOT JOKES!! YOU A FOOL FOR THAT ONE!!! LOL!!!"
edith head said:Big Chan is like the only person here that doesn't make me cringe when typing LOL
I think because he seems like the kind of good-natured dude who is actually laughing at loud when typing that.
Once or twice a year, I still find occassion to use the phrase "fucked-up like Peter O'Toole." Props to Big Chan.
I think because he seems like the kind of good-natured dude who is actually laughing at loud when typing that.
Once or twice a year, I still find occassion to use the phrase "fucked-up like Peter O'Toole." Props to Big Chan.
When I was a kid:
I thought that Just Good Friends by Michael Jackson and Stevie Wonder was just Michael Jackson, and he was putting on a stupid voice in the second verse.
In REM's The Sidewinder Sleeps Tonite, I thought the chorus went: "Only In Jamaica, Only In Jamaicaaaaa"
In the chorus of Nirvana's Spank Thru, I thought it went: "I been looking for Daaaaaave Grohl..."
I thought that Just Good Friends by Michael Jackson and Stevie Wonder was just Michael Jackson, and he was putting on a stupid voice in the second verse.
In REM's The Sidewinder Sleeps Tonite, I thought the chorus went: "Only In Jamaica, Only In Jamaicaaaaa"
In the chorus of Nirvana's Spank Thru, I thought it went: "I been looking for Daaaaaave Grohl..."
sticky_dojah said:
Cadeux, a fellow strutter from Munich always thought that Biggie said: "Puttin' 5 carrots in my baby girl ear".
for years i misheard the Get Money lyric as "Tattoo on TV, saying B.I.G", visualizing him lying back on a couch a little faded watching reruns of Fantasy Island, when all of a sudden tiny ass Herv?? Villechaize broke the fourth wall and namechecked him.
i also misheard Phife's contribution to Buggin' Out as ""I float like gravity/ never had a cavity / got more rhymes than Tawana's got family". playful as Tribe could be, this rape joke sat in stark relief to much of their positivity.. took me a couple years to untangle that one.
Cadeux, a fellow strutter from Munich always thought that Biggie said: "Puttin' 5 carrots in my baby girl ear".
for years i misheard the Get Money lyric as "Tattoo on TV, saying B.I.G", visualizing him lying back on a couch a little faded watching reruns of Fantasy Island, when all of a sudden tiny ass Herv?? Villechaize broke the fourth wall and namechecked him.
i also misheard Phife's contribution to Buggin' Out as ""I float like gravity/ never had a cavity / got more rhymes than Tawana's got family". playful as Tribe could be, this rape joke sat in stark relief to much of their positivity.. took me a couple years to untangle that one.
in 8th grade, i could never figure out what flav was saying on "don't believe the hype" . my friends and i would say "fatizwhatabe, ya dingy!" and through out high school we kept calling each other "ya dingy"
turns out, using the magical internets, he was saying "it's fake. that's what it be. ya dig me?"
turns out, using the magical internets, he was saying "it's fake. that's what it be. ya dig me?"
