confessions.
- Thread starter vintageinfants
- Start date
Until I was about forty I was sure that my family had taken a vacation in The Boondocks when I was a child.
was just reminded of this the other day when I was jamming the tape in my car:
I thought LL was talking about Shakespeare or some shit.
I thought LL was talking about Shakespeare or some shit.
DJ_Enki said:left me wondering what the fuck "terial" meant.
Isn't "terial" an actual piece of West-coast slang, though? Somebody on here (Jonny, maybe? Jinx?) used to use it on occasion.
But yeah, I always thought "Deep Cover" was "Tonight's the night like Betty White / and I'm chillin'", and I'm still incapable of hearing "Move On Up" as anything other than "Take nothing less / than the second-best" (which makes no fucking sense) or hearing the first line of "September" as anything other than "Do you remember / when it was like September?" (which I like a lot better than the real line, actually--it's more evocative).
Back when I was younger and hungrier and spent all my time On the Run Eatin', I stopped up two antique-store toilets in one day. The first time, I just paid a buck or whatever for my VG- Rattlesnake and coolly exited; the second time, I grabbed my lady and left like I was being chased, on some "Foggy Mountain Breakdown" shit.
At this very moment, the two records at the front of my visible stacks are Funkadelic's first jernt and some Chiburban library's de-accessioned copy of the Moonlighting soundtrack.
Until I was like seven, I thought sex involved some kind of adhesive.
When I was a mid-teen and buying a rayon shirt in my semi-rural town's "urban" clothier, Fashions Of New York (or it may have been New York Fashions, the second store two doors down that was owned and operated by the exact same family, and existed only to create the illusion of competition), the sales associate who was tailing me through the store asked what I planned to wear it with. I was too embarassed to admit that, like everything else I owned, I was gonna wear it with hobo-style jeans and combat boots, so I spent an endless-seeming two minutes stammering and fabricating an outfit that seemed like something somebody cool might wear: "Oh, you know, probably with, like, um, some, uh...olive pants? With, like pleats? And, like, a, um...a belt? A black one? With, you know, like a metal tip on it? And, and, and maybe like a hat?" (Note: It occurs to me in retrosepct that I may have been describing dude from Rap City and/or Ecstasy from Whodini.)
I wore a pith helmet socially on a couple occasions in the eighties. The late eighties.
I believe in my heart of hearts that no one east of the Rockies needs any Zapp album past II (with a possible dispensation made for Roger's Bridging The Gap).
A few years ago during a visit, my mom presented me with a pair of sandals. Now, I would bite my grandmother before I'd ever wear a pair of fucking sandals (no offense to my man JRoot, who I know gets down like that--it's a lifestyle choice, I understand), but at the same time, I was afraid that my mom might ask to see them during some later visit (she's like that sometimes), so I didn't feel that I could just get rid of them. I stashed them unworn in our basement storage unit and forgot about them up until the day before we moved, at which point I was seized by a fear that the moving guys would be clowning me in secret, so I made a special trip down to the basement to seal the shoebox with packing tape and write on it "PAPERS, ETC."
One time in middle school I surreptitiously riffled through my female cousin's things because a friend of mine needed to front like he had a girlfriend, and in desperation he'd asked me to steal for him the school picture of one of my cousin's friends. "It doesn't matter who, as long as she's cute and doesn't have braces!"
You know that RUN-DMC live move where Run is on one side of the stage in a b-boy stance and D's on the other in his stance, and they both strut toward the middle and high-five midstage? In elementary school, my man Brett and I used to do that in the lunchroom to absolutely no response. Tougher Than (Fruit) Leather.
This is painful.
Isn't "terial" an actual piece of West-coast slang, though? Somebody on here (Jonny, maybe? Jinx?) used to use it on occasion.
But yeah, I always thought "Deep Cover" was "Tonight's the night like Betty White / and I'm chillin'", and I'm still incapable of hearing "Move On Up" as anything other than "Take nothing less / than the second-best" (which makes no fucking sense) or hearing the first line of "September" as anything other than "Do you remember / when it was like September?" (which I like a lot better than the real line, actually--it's more evocative).
Back when I was younger and hungrier and spent all my time On the Run Eatin', I stopped up two antique-store toilets in one day. The first time, I just paid a buck or whatever for my VG- Rattlesnake and coolly exited; the second time, I grabbed my lady and left like I was being chased, on some "Foggy Mountain Breakdown" shit.
At this very moment, the two records at the front of my visible stacks are Funkadelic's first jernt and some Chiburban library's de-accessioned copy of the Moonlighting soundtrack.
Until I was like seven, I thought sex involved some kind of adhesive.
When I was a mid-teen and buying a rayon shirt in my semi-rural town's "urban" clothier, Fashions Of New York (or it may have been New York Fashions, the second store two doors down that was owned and operated by the exact same family, and existed only to create the illusion of competition), the sales associate who was tailing me through the store asked what I planned to wear it with. I was too embarassed to admit that, like everything else I owned, I was gonna wear it with hobo-style jeans and combat boots, so I spent an endless-seeming two minutes stammering and fabricating an outfit that seemed like something somebody cool might wear: "Oh, you know, probably with, like, um, some, uh...olive pants? With, like pleats? And, like, a, um...a belt? A black one? With, you know, like a metal tip on it? And, and, and maybe like a hat?" (Note: It occurs to me in retrosepct that I may have been describing dude from Rap City and/or Ecstasy from Whodini.)
I wore a pith helmet socially on a couple occasions in the eighties. The late eighties.
I believe in my heart of hearts that no one east of the Rockies needs any Zapp album past II (with a possible dispensation made for Roger's Bridging The Gap).
A few years ago during a visit, my mom presented me with a pair of sandals. Now, I would bite my grandmother before I'd ever wear a pair of fucking sandals (no offense to my man JRoot, who I know gets down like that--it's a lifestyle choice, I understand), but at the same time, I was afraid that my mom might ask to see them during some later visit (she's like that sometimes), so I didn't feel that I could just get rid of them. I stashed them unworn in our basement storage unit and forgot about them up until the day before we moved, at which point I was seized by a fear that the moving guys would be clowning me in secret, so I made a special trip down to the basement to seal the shoebox with packing tape and write on it "PAPERS, ETC."
One time in middle school I surreptitiously riffled through my female cousin's things because a friend of mine needed to front like he had a girlfriend, and in desperation he'd asked me to steal for him the school picture of one of my cousin's friends. "It doesn't matter who, as long as she's cute and doesn't have braces!"
You know that RUN-DMC live move where Run is on one side of the stage in a b-boy stance and D's on the other in his stance, and they both strut toward the middle and high-five midstage? In elementary school, my man Brett and I used to do that in the lunchroom to absolutely no response. Tougher Than (Fruit) Leather.
This is painful.
james said: Fashions Of New York (or it may have been New York Fashions, the second store two doors down that was owned and operated by the exact same family, and existed only to create the illusion of competition)
On some Cinco de Mayo/Putumayo shit. "Numero uno...de Mayo!"
On some Cinco de Mayo/Putumayo shit. "Numero uno...de Mayo!"
I sometimes find myself checking my hands to make sure I haven't got right and left the wrong way around.
james said:You know that RUN-DMC live move where Run is on one side of the stage in a b-boy stance and D's on the other in his stance, and they both strut toward the middle and high-five midstage? In elementary school, my man Brett and I used to do that in the lunchroom to absolutely no response.
Me and a friend used to have some Bambaata greeting along the same lines. I know the line "Peace to the World" was involved somewhere.
I am told he had a nervous breakdown and all his mullet fell out and he became some, like, hunt saboteur.
Just because I beat him to the only copy of Tania Maria's "Lady from Brasil" in 1986 or whatever.
I sleep like a LOG.
Me and a friend used to have some Bambaata greeting along the same lines. I know the line "Peace to the World" was involved somewhere.
I am told he had a nervous breakdown and all his mullet fell out and he became some, like, hunt saboteur.
Just because I beat him to the only copy of Tania Maria's "Lady from Brasil" in 1986 or whatever.
I sleep like a LOG.
leon said:james said:
I wore a pith helmet socially on a couple occasions in the eighties. The late eighties.
This is painful.
Nothing to be worried about, this guy got you covered
I mean, game recognize game and everything, but for the record, my steez was less Moebius cosplay (or whatever that dude in the picture is putting down) and more suburbanized post-Native-Tongue trickle-down. Beads may have been involved. And perhaps a staff. I really can't say any more.
I wore a pith helmet socially on a couple occasions in the eighties. The late eighties.
This is painful.
Nothing to be worried about, this guy got you covered
I mean, game recognize game and everything, but for the record, my steez was less Moebius cosplay (or whatever that dude in the picture is putting down) and more suburbanized post-Native-Tongue trickle-down. Beads may have been involved. And perhaps a staff. I really can't say any more.
leon said:james said:
I wore a pith helmet socially on a couple occasions in the eighties. The late eighties.
This is painful.
Nothing to be worried about, this guy got you covered
Just realised you might think that's ME that got you covered. Joke out of the window.
Allright, confession of my own.
For some time in my teens, i believed Parker to be the bass player, and Mingus the saxophonist.
Still telling friends about how great they were.
/confession
I wore a pith helmet socially on a couple occasions in the eighties. The late eighties.
This is painful.
Nothing to be worried about, this guy got you covered
Just realised you might think that's ME that got you covered. Joke out of the window.
Allright, confession of my own.
For some time in my teens, i believed Parker to be the bass player, and Mingus the saxophonist.
Still telling friends about how great they were.
/confession
