i just put the shits up my neighbour

[nzshadow]

so our apartment looks across the backyard straight into this idiots house, all four levels of it. Basically his place is one giant window.

The asshole has curtains but whenever his wife is away he never draws them. Instead he turns on all the lights on all levels and proceeds to walk around buck-naked, masturbating and get this, using the window as a mirror as he shaves his junk.

The other people in our building all see his little show as well and we are all sick of it.

To top it off, his wife is away a lot and he has begun ordering whores and banging them in full view (a couple weeks back he splashed out on two).

Now dont get me wrong, you want a smooth cock, its all good, you want to cheat on your wife and fuck hookers, whatever man, but you have fuckin curtains, USE THEM MOTHERFUCKER.

Now his wife hasnt been away in a few weeks now, and i just saw them out walking in the park in front of my house, i was bringing the groceries in and he saw me, there is no way this fucker does not know who i am, im the guy he flashes his cock to, im the guy who has two young kids who ask me why that man isnt wearing clothes, we have lived here for a couple years.

So this fuckwit sees me and has the nerve to smirk.

Im standing there wearing wraparounds and i guess you could say my default facial expression in not exactly friendly, i see this prick smirking and i glare back, she says something to him and this prick says sarcastically "hello neighbour"

I replied with the following:

"Hello mate, i see your missus hasnt been away for a while, i still have those photos from a couple weeks back, ill drop them in your mailbox later this week. Next time use your curtains dickhead".

He scuttled away with his hairless tail tucked between his legs.

I swear to god if this prick acts up again im kicking his door in and ruining his marriage.

/rant

 

[fishmongerfunk]

the part of the story that creeps me out the most is the smirk and innuendo-laden greeting with wife at his side. was he testing you? was it some sort of perverse thing for him? guy sounds mental.

 

[hobo_d]

if this guy knows you have kids and still gallivants around his house for all to see, then he's asking for it right now...its past the point of no return

 

[3rdshow]

LOL that must have been the perfect answer, dude.


slick as hell!

 

[Big_Stacks]

Hey NZ,





Way to snap back at that asshole prick!!! You were cooler about the situation than I would've been.





Peace,





Big Stacks from Kakalak

 

[nzshadow]

yeah,





i have to say that the slickness of my response had to do with the fact that i had played the confrontation in my head for a minute now. For some reason i had never (NEVER?!) seen him on the street before, so i was well fucking prepared with a suitably lowkey yet threatening response today.





i bet that little shit is finding it hard to sleep right now.





BTW, i dont have pics, but if he acts up again i will make it my personal mission in life to have photographic evidence which i will print and post to him, also through googling his address i now know his wifes name and her work address, shell get a copy too.





dude is a nasty little man and has it coming.

 

[Breez]

You handled it well. I would have said, "Oh, I'm glad to see you guys got back together", and left it at that. She would have bugged the hell out of him to explain what you were talking about. She might have even asked you, in the future, what did you mean by that comment. Your comment was great though!! :cheese:

 

[coffinjoe]

he picked the wrong ex-porno clerk to piss off


uto:

 

[Kinetic]

This is the kind of thread we need on-going updates in.





I'd like to hear about future interactions.





It'd be hella funny to go put an envelope in his mailbox when he's home and see how quickluy he rushes out of his place to retrieve it before the wife does!

 

[Almond]

Here in the states, that guy would probably be a registered sex offender by now for indecent exposure or whatever term they use. Not cool to be showing off your assets when there are youngins around. Keep your kids away!

 

[tripledouble]

howd the hookers look?

 

[Controller_7]

I'm pretty sure that would be illegal here in the US. Yes, it's in the privacy of his own home, but I still think there are limits to those freedoms.





As for what Almond said...





I work in a library and about 8 months ago this guy comes into the library and uses the computers for an hour. He then casually walks around the back area of the library where some study carrels are. He paces around for awhile and then eventually jacks off and shoots his load onto a woman that was sitting at a desk studying. She felt something wet on her and turned around and sees dude zipping up his pants. She runs to the front and we call the cops.





We went back and watched the security tapes and he did all of it so casually. He never ran or quickened his pace at all, not even as he was leaving the building. He did the whole thing very casually, as if it were normal. He even left his bag at the computer while he did it. He slowly walked back, got his bag and left.





Anyways, after a court case and 8 months, dude gets no jail time and does not have to register as a sex offender. Bizarre. I have no idea how that system works. That is clearly an offense.





Ok, back to the original post. Don't let that guy do it again. Just take a picture and give it to his wife or the cops.

 

[Almond]

Controller 7, that is an absolutely ridiculous situation that you just described. It sounds like you work at a college library since you mentioned study carrels, and despite common jokes about sexy librarians and getting feisty between shelves of government documents, I can't recall ever seeing anyone as much as give someone a kiss in a library. That jizz bandit deserved some punishment. If it was a public library, he risked getting his crap on taxpayer-funded resources. If it was at a school, he violated about a million campus community/safety rules. Seriously. No one should ever feel fear of getting semen on their new Jordans or Macbook while in a library.

 

[Garcia_Vega]

tripledouble said:howd the hookers look?




bwahahahaha!





Shadow for sure take some pictures, then throw at least a dozen eggs at his window next time.
























































But for real, how'd the hookers look?

 

[nzshadow]

damn, that library story is nuts, especially the casual nonchalance the guy displayed, what a freak.





OK, by popular demand: The Hookers.





first one (who returned with a friend for round two a week or two later) was a thirtysomething slim asian with dark shoulder length hair and fake breasts, she was wearing black lingere.





The second woman was blonde, looked Eastern European but could have been a local, older than her coworker, id say early 40s. she looked a bit rough around the edges. Also in black lingere.

 

[djsheep]

Alan, you fucking rule. My new location is





"Now dont get me wrong, you want a smooth cock, its all good,"

 

[Big_Stacks]

Hey,





I have a story similar to the library one from Summer 2008. I was in Akron, OH visiting my in-laws, but I had a dissertation to read for one of my doctoral students back in Milwaukee, as I was on his dissertation committee. To do so, I went to one of the local libraries a few days during the week visit. On one of the days, I'm sitting at a table in the back, proximal to the computer area which had about 10 terminals. Amongst the many kids at the computers, there was a middle-aged man looking at pornographic pictures on the computer. Immediately, I went to library staff to report this perv looking at pornographic material around children. The clerk, a male, snuck up gently behind the guy to see what he was viewing on the screen. The pervert was caught red-handed and asked the leave the library. I had to turn him in for the kids' sakes. We have to protect the babies.





Peace,





Big Stacks from Kakalak

 

[nzshadow]

i used to work close to the Amsterdam library which is fucking amazing BTW:

id spend my lunchbreaks there, the PCs and Macs are spread over each floor, its a great setup, on the mezannine level there is an aisle of PCs about 20 meters long, if you are facing the screen your back is to a long shelf of magazines.





i named this section cheaters alley as every time i would walk along browsing the magazines, Adult Friend Finder screens would click away as dudes on their luchbreaks were checking up on their messages.





funny as hell.

 

[Pundit]

back around 1991 i had a high school job at a kmart and some nutter ran out of the change rooms wacking off and ran around for a bit before flicking jizz around the ladies apparel section. I wasn't there but a friend of mine had to clean up the aftermath with a mop. A jizz mop as it turned out. Haven't thought about that story in many many years until this thread...

 

[batmon]

Almond said:Here in the states, that guy would probably be a registered sex offender by now for indecent exposure or whatever term they use. Not cool to be showing off your assets when there are youngins around. Keep your kids away!




its a crime to jerk off in your own house w/ the curtains open?