31yo. Male and still a virgin..

get with nzshadow asap. he knows the ins and outs of sexual depravity and perversion.
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Good advice in this thread however - while you're shaping up physically and mentally you may want to take that huge step prior to your first time with someone you care about by getting some practice. Hit up some spotty massage parlor (look for the words "Asian" in the business name, usually found next to $1 per order Chinese joints) and get yo full body rub on. You'll learn to master your water valves and be able to manuever around your partner. Just make sure you ain't feeling up police.
 
The puppy suggestion is good. If I see you with a cute pup, you've got my attention, especially if you let me pet it, tell me how old it is, etc.

Girls go scouting for men who are working out (gym, park, etc), and a man working out is 3x as hot as a guy digging records (sorry, Strutters) just by virtue of being in shape and working to meet personal goals.

But these suggestions both require money.

Don't know if you're pulling our leg, but let us know when you get some.
 
Well people who are really tied up in some physical or some psychiatric problem usually reply with "but this, but that, but I can't " Shouldn't that be an authenticity-indicator?

The reasons I dont post a pic should be obvious if you read my comments about my illness. I could have grabbed some photo off the net of some poor guy pretending it was me if I weren't for real.

At least the 40 yo. virigin doesnt have bad skin end hes not overweight. Hooray for hollywood fiction film making trying to mimic "real life"

@Almond: I'll remember those. Thanks.


I still don't believe this guy. Everytime one of you guys give him a solution, he'll come back with a "but i can't!!".

POST A PIC OR YOU'RE SOFT!
 
I know more than a few girls that are pretty turned off by gym rats. Now, everyone likes a nice, fit body (and stanima, and good attitude, and energy) but dudes sitting around working on their guns all day... I dunno. Normal girls like normal guys. Ripped roid ragers get a certain type of girl and that girl is not going to dig a pock-faced 31 year old dutch virgin unless some really wild changes happen. Cosign the endorphins and the confidence and everything but I wouldn't look at body-building as a sure-fire lady getter. In fact, the more you look at your body like that the less likely you are to score.

I'm pretty gym-phobic (I own a membership and barely go, ever) and I've never had a problem with girls. Guys really psych themselves out - it's not hard to start up a conversation with a girl, especially if you're not specifically coming on to them... you'd be surprised. But I'm married, so it's not creepy or anything.
 
My guess is those older women would like to have great sex with handsome young 20-something guys who have girlie-like-pretty-skin. Unlike me..

I seen this weird porn-video btw with a man age 35+ who is going down on some 16yo. pretty girl while a good-looking older lady is instructing them both to do so...
I realize that is some experience no one can ever take away from that bastard ever. Jeezus i'm missing out. And these girls can make you feel so meaningless up inside. Is that girl power?

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You should befriend an older attractive woman, a divorcee perhaps who keeps herself busy like you should be too (as tripledouble mentioned thats important)
No joke.
There are women in this category who are very free sexually and we be into having a mini relationship with you where they teach you about pleasing a woman, but they don't require that you develop a full-on relationship. Great way to lose your virginity and then be free to explore beyond that afterwards.
From personal experience..most of the older ladies/moms/40+ that I was with when I was younger (early 20's) wasn't trying to get with a dude that didn't know what he was doing. I'm sure they are out there, but i'd say the strong majority of ladies that fall into this age range aren't looking for a guy that they have to teach. Maybe some will dig the idea of being his first, though. Again..good luck!


ps: older ladies = freaks
 
My guess is those older women would like to have great sex with handsome young 20-something guys who have girlie-like-pretty-skin. Unlike me..

I seen this weird porn-video btw with a man age 35+ who is going down on some 16yo. pretty girl while a good-looking older lady is instructing them both to do so...
I realize that is some experience no one can ever take away from that bastard ever. Jeezus i'm missing out. And these girls can make you feel so meaningless up inside. Is that girl power?
Your problem is that you think girls have power. They don't.
They don't have perfect skin: they use makeup. Their boobs aren't that perfect: they wear good bras. Their hair does not feel so soft and smell so sweet without all the hair products. You seem to enjoy feeling sorry for yourself more than you want to actually do something. Start by turning off the computer and doing some of doubletriple's suggested push-ups.

PS Porn is not real life. Show a woman that you are gentle and sweet, and you'll surprise her more than you will with any cool "tricks" you learn from a XXX video.

PPS How did you learn such good English as a dropout? My parents have lived in the US for 24 years and still sound like they walked right off the boat.
 
I know more than a few girls that are pretty turned off by gym rats. Now, everyone likes a nice, fit body (and stanima, and good attitude, and energy) but dudes sitting around working on their guns all day... I dunno. Normal girls like normal guys. Ripped roid ragers get a certain type of girl and that girl is not going to dig a pock-faced 31 year old dutch virgin unless some really wild changes happen. Cosign the endorphins and the confidence and everything but I wouldn't look at body-building as a sure-fire lady getter. In fact, the more you look at your body like that the less likely you are to score.

I'm pretty gym-phobic (I own a membership and barely go, ever) and I've never had a problem with girls. Guys really psych themselves out - it's not hard to start up a conversation with a girl, especially if you're not specifically coming on to them... you'd be surprised. But I'm married, so it's not creepy or anything.
Sure you're right, don't overdo things you're saying? Girls on the street even get freaked out if I just ask em about the time. Maybe my approach is way too polite which could come across as an ugly salesman who wants something. I don't know.
I see 50c type dudes just put there arms around a girl and she'll walk with em, what am I doing wrong. Self knowledge is even more important for me I guess.
 
as mentioned before, put yourself into a situation that you aren't already in. Volunteer somewhere. Get a job in a customer service oriented environment. Go to the library.

Also, if you think of yourself in such a bad manner then others will think the same. nobody hits on grumpy faced sour-pusses. It's proven that people with smiles are more attractive. Like they say, you'll find someone when you aren't looking.


and most importantly...

your concern should not be with losing your virginity. Your concern should be with becoming social and meeting people. Otherwise you should just save some money and hire someone to take your virginity. Or post on Craigslist. I bet there is someone out there who would be into what you describe.

(as you describe yourself)

"Unnatractive, overweight male with dry skin wants to lose virginity."

You'll have responses in no time.

You just need to start thinking more highly of yourself. As mentioned before, most people are ugly. Even some of the hottest ladies in the world have ugly elbows. Just respect yourself a little more and you'll see that women also feel self conscious. There are women who are also 30 and still virgins. Just get out in the world and meet some people. I know it's easier said than done, especially if it's been a long time problem, but just get out there.

Again, your issue is not your virginity. You just need to meet people. Don't go out with the intention of getting laid. You'll be a creep. Go out with the intention of meeting a friend. Start there.
 
PS How did you learn such good English as a dropout? My parents have lived in the US for 24 years and still sound like they walked right off the boat.
You don't believe I'm a school dropout? Oow my head hurts.. It's from watching Transformers and He-man when I was like 7yo. No kidding either. But my English is far from good. I make mistakes a lot! Firefox spell-checking works great too. I just retype certain words differently until the red underlining goes away....
 
Again, your issue is not your virginity. You just need to meet people. Don't go out with the intention of getting laid. You'll be a creep. Go out with the intention of meeting a friend. Start there.
But my issue is my virginity. As if sex all around me doesn't get me warmed up or at least very very sad (and mad..)
I know I gotta start somewhere, it's just i been thinking about sex all my life, and that sickness starting at age 9 didn't help me build any normal life either. Before I'm able to get any I will be years away from now. I feel I deserve at least a medal for keeping all this sexual energy inside me for all these years driving myself nuts.. And for what I ask myself when I get criticized for "bitching" (ventilating) from time to time. But I'll remember this advice you given me.


This thread can be locked by the way. I'm not in it for attention all the time. Just a little is all i needed. Thanks girls and guys! Any questions (if any), ie. regarding authenticity of my problems > PM.

Soulstrut Rocks.