31yo. Male and still a virgin..

I knew this shorty ugly little dude that would say "I'll ask 10 bitches if they want to F*ck, and 9 of them will slap me, but its worth it for the 10th". I don't think he was lying either.
Click to expand...
Seriously, this dude EXISTS. It's all about taking swings, and not minding the misses (pun intended...)

When I was in HS, I was all sorts of hung-up, because I've only got one ball- childhood cancer related. Get into college, and start getting laid, and sort of loosen up about shit.

One night I'm with this girl who I kind of like, so I figure I'll tell her I got one in the bag... and she says, that's ok, I've got scars on my boobs from surgery.

Didn't stop either of us... we were together for a while.

Guess what I'm saying is that you'll find more people have scars than you... I had to learn it too.
 
You know what? F*ck all this pro and stripper talk. Go join a church group, have the old ladies hook you up with some dates. Fall in love with a nice girl, get married in a few years, do it the right way. I mean, you've waited this long.
Click to expand...
I wont say that's the right way, but Church is a way to meet folks.

In the end - the game is a LAW OF NUMBERS.
Book Stores and the Library

headz.gif

Grocery store, too.
 
I agree with part of batmon's comment-
"U gotta get out, get clowned, get to know some folks, and rub elbows w/ girls."
Click to expand...
U dont like your elbows rubbed?
 
I agree with part of batmon's comment-
"U gotta get out, get clowned, get to know some folks, and rub elbows w/ girls."
Click to expand...
U dont like your elbows rubbed?
LLLLLLLLLLLOVE IT!!haha!! Na, this is the part i agreed with, i didn't like the lying, cheating, stealing ish!!
 
I agree with part of batmon's comment-
"U gotta get out, get clowned, get to know some folks, and rub elbows w/ girls."
Click to expand...
U dont like your elbows rubbed?
LLLLLLLLLLLOVE IT!!haha!! Na, this is the part i agreed with, i didn't like the lying, cheating, stealing ish!!
I own a soy-milk jacuzzi w/ extra jet pressure.

My doorman is Gary Coleman.

My turntable is handmade by Grandmaster Flash.

My shower-curtin is the shroud of turin.

My Condoms have serial numbers.

My refrigerator has a midjet inside.

The wood of my floor comes from the set of Teen Wolf.

I was in I Am Legend.

I get special made M&M in Neon Colors.

I own a car - the last car on the 4 train.

My momma got me these cashmere socks from Obama's house.

My entire wine collection is from King Tut's Tomb.

Sade signed all my vinyl.....when she was at my house.

I sung background on Earth Wind & Fire's Gratitude.

I write for Curb Your Enthusiasm.

I copped these sneakers from Dwayne Wade.

I just got divorced from Sheryl Crow.
 
One night I'm with this girl who I kind of like, so I figure I'll tell her I got one in the bag... and she says, that's ok, I've got scars on my boobs from surgery.
Click to expand...
2006_nightmare_before_christmas_in_disney_001.jpg



I'm just joking.
 
I also live alone and never seen any family for over 8 years. And don't want to btw. Talk about living lonely.

Thanks girls/guys and for all the advice you given me. I guess i got enough attention. If I get too much attention I always shy away. anyway thanks !!
 
I agree with part of batmon's comment-
"U gotta get out, get clowned, get to know some folks, and rub elbows w/ girls."
Click to expand...
U dont like your elbows rubbed?
LLLLLLLLLLLOVE IT!!haha!! Na, this is the part i agreed with, i didn't like the lying, cheating, stealing ish!!
I own a soy-milk jacuzzi w/ extra jet pressure.

My doorman is Gary Coleman.

My turntable is handmade by Grandmaster Flash.

My shower-curtin is the shroud of turin.

My Condoms have serial numbers.

My refrigerator has a midjet inside.

The wood of my floor comes from the set of Teen Wolf.

I was in I Am Legend.

I get special made M&M in Neon Colors.

I own a car - the last car on the 4 train.

My momma got me these cashmere socks from Obama's house.

My entire wine collection is from King Tut's Tomb.

Sade signed all my vinyl.....when she was at my house.

I sung background on Earth Wind & Fire's Gratitude.

I write for Curb Your Enthusiasm.

I copped these sneakers from Dwayne Wade.

I just got divorced from Sheryl Crow.
C.Y.E........that's so cool!!
See, now was the truth that hard?! haha.
tongue.gif
 
How come, is it that hard to believe?

Sickness since the age of 9, living alone, no family to got to for over 8 years, ugly non-smiling face, overweight, lost 22 years of my life and it's opportunities, school dropout,
all true.

What a joke....

the poster of this thread has us all fooled I think. Show us a pic or you're soft!
Click to expand...
 
Guys, I think its our duty to help build this guy the ultimate lady catching mixtape.





1.
 
You know what? F*ck all this pro and stripper talk. Go join a church group, have the old ladies hook you up with some dates. Fall in love with a nice girl, get married in a few years, do it the right way. I mean, you've waited this long.
Click to expand...
I wont say that's the right way, but Church is a way to meet folks.

In the end - the game is a LAW OF NUMBERS.
Book Stores and the Library

headz.gif

Dude needs to get a job in a hospital. They are open 24-7, and between the employees (mostly women 18-50)and the single moms, it's a goldmine to even the lowliest janitor or security guard or food server. I wish I had known about it when I was single. I knew a guy at the hospital I worke ER at, he was scarred BAD from a fire he was in, I mean this guy would freak out most adults, but I know he got tail just by being around ladies all the damn time! Didn't hurt that dude could gab with anyone about anything, and was a nice guy, but that's my point. You can't let that shit get in your way, because then it's the first thing people see coming, the doom patrol.

Hospitals, seriously. Get a job pushing broom at your nearest local hospital, or just volunteer. And get friendly. Not creepy, friendly.
 
Man, reading this thread really bummed me out. Hope this is a joke and not true. But if it is indeed true, I hope you meet a nice lady soon. From the way you describe (fetishize) women, I think you're problem is "putting the pussy on a pedestal," in the immortal words of the 40 Year Old Virgin.

Maybe the strutters here can do a kind deed and contribute to a special PayPal account so the dude can get some 'tang. Whose in?
 
Thanks for the well meant advice, I'm also writing it down. But can you believe I'm even feeling too unconfident/ugly to go to a pro? I'm disgusted of myself. 22 years of pain made me how I look today.
Click to expand...
If you think that way, you'll always come off that way. If you look down on yourself, you'll find no one will ever want to talk or associate with you. Why should they, if all you show is grief and a need to be pissy all day?

When you do finally find someone, you are probably going to say "that wasn't difficult at all". Also keep in mind though that that is just the sexual part, you can at least leave her behind and live your life again. Meeting up with someone for a long or short term relationship requires effort on your part, and if you don't make the effort, no one will do the same for you.
 
Shit man, just go pay for it, easily fixed way of poppin' your johnson. The other thing you should probably do after that is seek some counselling to address your self image issues. Talking youself down in a negative manner isn't gonna get you very far in the long run & even if you do get that cherry popped, it's not gonna fix everything because it sounds like there are some deeper unresolved issues that you need to deal with to progress positively with your life. Go see a professional whore, then a professional counsellor. Good luck.
 
Enough with the stripper/hooker/drinking suggestions. The guy said that he doesn't have much $$$ to spend.

My suggestion would be to first make yourself feel better by accomplishing something real. Do you want to get a better job? Go back and get your high school certificate? Start going for walks to get into shape?

If you don't get out much, then your conversation skills might not be too sharp. Start by talking to some male friends, playing cards or just having a beer. Then start by talking to women you are NOT interested in (older women, ugly women, etc), so you can see what women talk about without being intimidated. Then move onto women you are actually attracted to. You can start doing community service at church, cleaning up a park, etc. to meet people.

Start setting little goals and reaching them, such as "I am going to eat one healthy food everyday this week" or "I am going to organize my bedroom by the end of today," and then move onto bigger things, like "I will lose 8 pounds this month." Prove to yourself that you can do things. Then you will be able to prove it to a woman.
 
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